


a flower midst rubble

by princ3ssf33t



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003), Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Maybe some Romance, Post Conqueror of Shamballa, i just wanted to inflict pain, let's be real
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-12
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-03 19:36:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13348083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princ3ssf33t/pseuds/princ3ssf33t
Summary: When he left he didn't spare a thought to what he was leaving behind. He couldn't. Because he knew that if he had, he would have never left.Looking at where they were now, perhaps he should have.





	1. Chapter 1

_“Sorry Lieutenant. There’s only room for one.”_

_“You liar!”_

* * *

 

For anyone to call Central anything other than a warzone was deceiving themselves. And while Roy was a great expert at deceiving himself, even he had to admit what it was that he saw. It had been many years since he had seen such carnage as this on the battlefield, but he recognized the scents and sounds long before he stepped foot on the streets of the capital.

He had not missed it one bit.

The entirety of the city had suffered under the attack of the invaders. Entire neighborhoods were decimated, their occupants crushed under the ruins of what had been their businesses and homes. Blood and screams lined the streets wherever someone went. Fire and water broke out and spread even to the houses that still stood.

Central was a smoking graveyard.

Roy climbed out of the underground city having completed the task given to him by the Elrics. The Gateway had been sealed, with the secrets of the invading army and the Elric brothers on the other side of it. And despite the knowledge he may have just sentenced those young boys to their deaths with an army such as that on the other side, Roy was feeling lighter than he had in years.

Not happy exactly, but there was at least some closure to a piece of his life now. He may not have liked the way that everything had played out, but he was content knowing that those two boys had each other now, and that was really all they really wanted in their lives. Besides, whatever trials awaited them on the other side of the Gate they would be able to handle.

All the trouble they had encountered and put themselves through on this side of the Gate gave him the confidence in that at least.

Roy blinked at the bright sunlight as he emerged from the bowels of Central. His hand shielded his only eye as he carefully stepped over bits and pieces of stone rubble on the streets.

What was he to do now?

Despite the command he had taken during this battle, he had still resigned from being a general. His actions, despite being a large part of keeping the city from falling from the invaders, were still insubordinate and he could be court martialed for his actions. What would he do then? Was there anything he could do then?

Shaking away any thought about possible futures that had yet come to pass, Roy continued down what had once been a busy bazaar. The remains of goods and produce lay crushed and abandoned under stone and wooden carts that had once held them. Soldiers were running back and forth, attempting to assist the injured that stared into the nothingness that they had been exposed to.

Not that the soldiers looked any better. Half of them shared the shell-shocked expressions as they half-carried bleeding children from the rubble.

Roy felt a twinge of sympathy. It was likely these men didn’t have the combat experience that he had. They simply looked too young to have experienced the war in Ishval as many of the older soldiers had. They never had to confront the mortality of men in such a brutal way before and couldn’t begin to understand how to process it.

Roy kept walking.

One day they would learn. And that was something they had to do for themselves. He couldn’t help them.

He need to get back. He needed to find whom he left behind again.

The walk back to Central Headquarters wasn’t one that was easy. What once had been clear streets were blocked and crowded. Some by people, some by the rubble and death. Roy made the conscious effort to breathe through his teeth when the scent of blood became too much. He couldn’t afford any flashbacks now.

Soldiers were still scrambling all over Headquarters, frantic and yelling. Generals were barking orders, which the few who could hear over the sounds of the lingering chaos followed. Roy lingered on the side, watching for a single individual. But no matter how much he strained his remaining eye to look, he couldn’t find the familiar walk, the familiar twist of hair, or the voice he had been blessed to hear again for the briefest of moments since he stepped back into Central.

“General Mustang! Sir!”

Roy spun to see Sergeant Fuery making his way toward him with a large radio in his hands. He didn’t bother to correct Fuery about his rank. That wasn’t what was important at this point in time.

“Where’s the lieutenant Fuery?” He asked instead.

Fuery stopped. Roy noticed the way the young man’s arms were shaking under the weight of the heavy radio, and how Fuery ignored it. Fuery’s eyes no longer were looking at the former general, but had wandered to stare at a section of town that was missing from the skyline. Plumes of smoke seemed to be coming heavily from that section.

Fuery took a deep breath and shifted the radio in his hands.

“I expect she would be near the water district, sir.” Fuery said after a few moments in relative silence.

“Water—?”

Roy spun his head around to look in the direction of the water district. That had been were the destruction by the invaders had been the worst. What was she doing there? A small voice in the back of his head said that it would have been likely that she would be there under orders by her commanding officer, but something wasn’t sitting well with the way Fuery had delivered it. Something wasn’t sitting right with Fuery in relation with the lieutenant, and he wasn’t telling Roy about it.

“Where Fuery? Where is Lieutenant Hawkeye?”

He took a few steps closer to the young man and Roy towered over him. Fuery had always been on the slight side, but with the added rubble Roy was standing on, the height difference became even more pronounced.

Fuery winced, although Roy was unable to figure out if it was due to the glare he was giving the sergeant, or due to the weight of the radio he was shifting in his arms once again.

“I shouldn’t.”

Whatever semblance of composure Roy had been feeling earlier after completing the task to keep the two worlds separate was gone. There was a panic setting in that was only reminiscent of the time he thought he had lost his bodyguard before. He closed the distance between them and gripped Fuery’s shoulders tightly. To Fuery’s credit, he didn’t take any notice to the tightness of the grip.

“Where Fuery? Where’s Riza?”

It had been years since he felt that name roll off his tongue. It felt foreign and right in the same breath. Roy tried not think about it.

“She’s,” Fuery took a deep breath. “She’ll be at the building on the corner of Rose and Talcum. But I ask you sir, please don’t go. Let her have the time she needs.”

But Roy wasn’t listening. He was already thinking about the fastest way to traverse the damaged streets to get to her. There would be no way for him to drive in a vehicle, with the destruction of Central’s buildings and with the military still swarming throughout the whole city. Any other method of travel would take to long to even set up to get to her.

His hands dropped to his side and he took a few steps back slowly, his eye tracking the path of least resistance for him to run, before he spun on his heels and sprinted down and through the rubble.

Fuery shouted at Roy to stop, but it was lost in the sounds of the military scrapping together what they could to help their citizens and to the sound of his heart beating in his ears as he weaved between rubble and soldiers.

Roy left Fuery behind and raced to find the one member of his old team that had been at his side through nearly everything. What would she be doing down in the water district? The corner of Rose and Talcum was deep in the heart of the water district, certainly too far for the military to have cleared a path to yet. She had ventured out on her own, but why?

By the time he arrived in the water district Roy was heaving with every breath and step he took. The years he had taken at the small outpost in the north had done him no favors in keeping in shape for such endurance running. He stopped to rest his hands on his knees as he gathered his breath before taking in what appeared before him.

The district was gone.

If Roy hadn’t known better, he would have guessed that a large bomb went off. But the transmutation marks were clear to his eye as he passed them. And in comparison to other areas of the city, there was a strange sense of calm here. Roy could hear the flames consuming everything they could reach instead of the frantic work of citizens and military pulling what they could to assist others. Water rushed in the background, but Roy was unable to tell if it was from the river a few streets over or from the broken pipes of the exploded buildings.

Then there was a lone scream.

Roy’s ears tuned into the sound of distress and he straightened his spine. His quest to find the missing member of his team momentarily forgotten, he looked for the individual who needed his help.

His pace picked up as he ran through what had been streets, and he went even faster when he heard another scream followed by what was unmistakably a sob. That was when he heard another voice, one that unmistakably male respond to the other, whom Roy finally recognized a woman’s voice.

“No, you can’t go in there! The structure is collapsed! It won’t hold your weight!”

As Roy ran closer, he recognized the voice as Lieutenant Havoc’s voice. He was close. Perhaps only on the other end of the crumbling wall. Roy’s step slowed to a slow walk.

“NO! She’s in there! I have to get her out of there!” The woman’s voice was distraught and there were a few grunts from Havoc. He must have been restraining her from leaping into the crumbling structure.

“Just wait a moment! I already called for backup, we need to wait until they can get here and clear the area for us!”

Roy turned around the corner of the crumbling wall and saw Havoc struggling to contain the smaller woman in his arms as she attempted to claw her way out and to the building across from them. Roy took notice that the woman was wearing the blue uniform of the Amestrian military like Havoc and Roy. He couldn’t see her rank, but he supposed it didn’t matter. Havoc knew the woman well, and even if he didn’t, Havoc was doing the right thing.

Roy glanced at the building she was fighting to enter. What had once been a two-story building was reduced to a half story, with much of the brick crumbling in on itself. There was a small fenced-in grass yard in front with small assortment of kids’ toys tossed there and covered in the dust and grime of the battle. A sign that miraculously remained standing told him that this building had once been child-care center.

His heart plummeted at the thought of all the children that would have been in there during the battle. They wouldn’t have stood a chance against any attackers. Not the children of their ages. He understood why the woman would be fighting so hard to get inside now. It was likely that her daughter had been attending this daycare.

“NO!” Havoc shouted as the woman finally broke free of his grasp.

Several things happened at that moment in time. One was that Roy finally got a clear look at the woman who had been restrained by Havoc as she lunged toward the crumbling building. He saw blonde hair, falling out of the dark brown clip. He heard her scream in an almost inhuman voice the name of her daughter, as Havoc yelled hers.

“HAWKEYE!”

Roy found himself colliding with the collapsed wall behind him as Hawkeye—Riza Hawkeye—leapt through the doors into certain death.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go, chapter two. This one is more set-up, but I promise you'll be getting some answers soon. I would expect within the next chapter or so.

Roy had only entertained the notion that Riza Hawkeye could ever be a mother once in his life. No more, no less.

For years she was nothing more than his teacher’s daughter. A fixture on the wall not to be awarded more than a passing thought. Not when there was so much more to occupy his brain, so much to learn about alchemy and he couldn’t absorb it fast enough. She wasn’t anything more than a shadow in her own home.

And after the war, she was a soldier. Steadfast and firm. Obedient to the orders given without any hint of resistance. Yet forever haunted by the experiences she had, shared only to a select few who could speak the same language. Keeping everyone at a distance, save the insolent Catalina who had latched on even tighter to his lieutenant even harder afterwards.

It had only been one time. And it was something he was so ashamed of, Roy buried it deeper than anything else. Deeper than the denials of the possible feelings he may have developed for her.

But he had not buried it deep enough. The image of Riza Hawkeye, hair down, brown eyes shining in a way they had never done before, holding an infant with the blackest ink for hair resurfaced as he watched her slip behind the ruins of the child care center.

Recovering his balance, Roy moved quickly over to Havoc’s side and dropped his hand on the blond man’s shoulder. Havoc jumped slightly under the sudden touch and turned his head to see who had made it out to the center of an abandoned sector. Roy noticed he was missing his customary cigarette and there was a thin line of blood near his hairline that hadn’t been there when Roy had arrived to give orders that morning.

“Wha—What’s going on? Was that Hawkeye?” Roy hated the way his voice wasn’t as steady as he wanted to portray.

Havoc stared at Roy. Roy was certain that if he still had his cigarette, it would have dropped from his lips. Havoc’s eyes, which had widened at sight of Roy, darted quickly back and forth from where Hawkeye disappeared to and himself. Roy thought he saw the little color Havoc had left drain from his face.

“You shouldn’t be here sir.”

Havoc’s voice dropped low. It was the most menacing tone Roy had ever heard come out of Havoc’s mouth. Roy unconsciously dropped his hand from Havoc’s shoulder, but restrained himself from taking a step back. He may not be the superior anymore, but he was not about to be cowed by a man used to receive his orders.

“You need to leave before she knows you’re here. Your presence won’t do any favors. We don’t need you right now.”

Roy noticed the way Havoc’s jaw was clenched on the one side. For the first time in the years of knowing Havoc as a comrade and a friend, Roy felt a real possibility that Havoc was about to inflict harm. His foot shifted a half-step back from the taller man. It may have been years since his last fight, but he could still hold his own. He was sure of that.

Hawkeye’s voice echoed from the rubble followed by the sound of shifting brick. Havoc broke the stare he settled Roy with and searched for any sign of the lieutenant in the rubble. His face released its tension for a few moments before it returned as he took a few steps to stand by the fence around the property. There his walk stuttered before he sprinted to Hawkeye’s side, wherever she was.

Roy was alone.

He always ended up alone.

_“We don’t need you.”_

Roy was tempted to storm his way over to his old friends and prove how much they needed him. Wasn’t it he who took command and helped liberate Central from the armored invaders? Wasn’t it he who sealed the Gateway to the alternate world to prevent other invasion forces? He was a goddammed alchemist. He could prove his worth right here and now.

Yet he couldn’t. His feet remained where they were planted and he could only watch as precious time slipped away from him.

Why didn’t they want him near Hawkeye? What was the conspiracy to keep him from her? Was she aware the men were doing this? She seemed extremely relieved to see him when he first came back to Central. Or was this by her request? Because he had left her behind when he went up to assist the Elrics against the flying aeroplanes?

Lieutenant Hawkeye was many things, but he had never seen her, in all the years he had known her, hold a petty grudge against others. Especially in the midst of tragedy like this.

“Holy fuck, it’s all gone.”

Roy turned to see a squad of men with excavation gear gathering in the space behind him, staring at the street of rubble. They were covered in the same grime as the soldiers of other rescue operations and some had the shell-shocked look Roy had come to recognize in the mirror after the bad nights. This was not their first call that day.

Roy turned from where his former subordinates were and addressed the men gathered and were clearly awaiting some form of direction. It took a few tries, but he eventually cleared his throat of the dust he’d breathed in.

“Focus your efforts on the corner building.” Roy gestured to the day care behind him without turning around. “There are an undetermined number of children trapped underneath the rubble, and no way to determine their status, but save as many children as you can. The structure is unstable, so be careful of your steps as to not bring the rest of the building down on you or on any children trapped.”

The soldiers’ faces grew even more grim at Roy’s words.

“There are already two officers in the building searching for survivors. Assist their efforts, and if necessary, relieve them of the search.” As distraught as Hawkeye appeared to be when she vanished behind the brick, she was not in any condition to conduct a proper search. “Now go.”

The soldiers gave a salute to Roy, despite the lack of stars on his shoulders, and rushed to follow the orders given. One of the men turned to each man in turn to give individual orders now that they knew where to focus their attention. Roy stood off to the side and watched as the men scrambled to follow the orders given. There was a ticking clock and no time to waste.

With soldiers running to assist Hawkeye and Havoc excavating children, and others looking to help the people in surrounding buildings, Roy finally allowed his brain to wonder why they were outside a day care.

The answer was obvious. It was so glaringly obvious, and Roy didn’t want to admit it. How could he? It would only reinforce the fact she was stronger than him and could continue to live her life while he was stuck in the same place he’d been in for years. Not that he needed to be reminded of that. He’d known that all along.

Roy wondered if he left if would anyone notice. The rescue team would be hard at work with their orders and specific tasks. They wouldn’t come back to him for directions, they just needed him to point out where they needed to go. His work was done.

And Havoc _wanted_ him to go. Practically ordered it. If Roy left, he knew that Havoc would be relieved to see it. And if he stayed, there was no guarantee that Havoc wouldn’t be able to restrain himself from throwing the first punch.

Besides, didn’t he already see what he had come down here for? Why would he need to stay any longer? The base desire he had to make sure that she was unharmed and breathing was sated.

The image of Hawkeye screaming as she fought against Havoc’s arms, hair a mess and tears barely beginning their escape down her face appeared behind the eyepatch. He could still hear her voice echoing in his ears of her distress.

No. It wasn’t just the echoes in his mind. Roy was actually hearing Hawkeye’s voice. His vacant stare refocused on the crumbled building. Other soldiers that had the capability to, rushed to aid the lieutenant.

Roy couldn’t figure out what was in her voice. Jubilation? Relief? Despair? All of the above? Whatever it was, it was clear that she had found someone midst the rubble. And before Roy realized what he was doing, his feet took a few steps forward. His heart clenched at the thought of Riza finding any children dead under the brick. Of all the things that haunted her from her time in Ishval, the most reoccurring nightmare was the one with the children she found slaughtered and disposed of like garbage.

He couldn’t let her suffer that again. Not alone.

A young man stopped him from going too far forward with a hand to Roy’s chest. Shaken from the reverie his mind was trapped in, Roy looked down at the small man, barely out of boyhood. His face was set in a firm line that didn’t sit well on the round face.

“Stay here, sir. You’re distraught. Let the men handle the extraction now. Your kid’s in good hands.”

Roy’s tongue stumbled over his own protests. He wasn’t a father. He would never be one. That had been a dream that died at his very first snap in Ishval. Then buried when he asked Hawkeye to watch his back, without him even realizing it until much later, when he imagined Hawkeye as something couldn’t be.

“Everything will be fine.”

It was a lie, Roy knew it, and this kid knew it, but neither of them cared. Together they stood and watched as soldiers disappeared behind the remaining walls one by one. Many voices drifted from behind the brick, and Roy thought he could pick out Havoc’s voice, but couldn’t determine what he was saying. Not over the infant scream that suddenly broke through the air.

Roy let the air escape his lungs. When had he started holding his breath?

Both Roy and the soldier watched with baited breath until another soldier in muted blue emerged from the fractured brick, clutching a bundle of white wool to his chest. The soldier was whispering words to the infant who let the world know of their displeasure as loudly as their little lungs could manage. And despite the tight cradle of the baby to his chest, the tension had eased out of much of the rest of the soldier’s body.

The young soldier that stopped Roy and Roy himself stood and watched as the other soldiers emerged from behind the wreckage, each with varying degrees of urgency depending on the severity of the child’s injuries in their arms. Roy watched as children were carried passed him on their way to the medical officer with his makeshift medical table, all younger than five.

Roy’s eyes flickered away as the young soldier moved from him to assist the medical officer. There were a dozen children who needed to have their wounds bandaged and broken bones reset. Roy swallowed and turned back to the remains of the building. He still hadn’t seen Hawkeye or Havoc emerge. He wouldn’t, no, couldn’t, move until he saw her—them emerge again.

They did not keep him waiting long. Havoc emerged first, stopping to help a young woman with red hair step over a piece of roof, then another with black hair chopped short. He guided them to a couple remaining soldiers waiting to take survivors to get looked over, before he disappeared behind the brick once again. When he reemerged, his military jacket was missing from his shoulders and he had his arm around Hawkeye.

Roy’s heart hurt for the next few beats. Havoc’s jacket was thrown over her shoulders as hers was covering whoever she had in her arms. He was too far to hear her over the crying children to his left, but he recognized the movement of her shoulders. Hawkeye was sobbing. Desperately. In a way he had only seen once before.

Havoc rubbed her shoulders and whispered something into her ear. His eyes strayed from her to take in the sight of all the children they had pulled from the building. A bittersweet look expression covered his face. Roy wondered what he had seen.

When Havoc’s eyes drifted from the children and landed on Roy, Roy saw something in his former subordinate’s eyes that Roy had only seen hints of in the years he had known him. Havoc looked downright murderous.

Havoc leaned down and whispered more in Hawkeye’s ear and passed her to the remaining soldier waiting nearby. Havoc gave orders to the man as too where to take Hawkeye and stood in place as the soldier did as he was told.

Havoc’s eyes never left Roy.

Roy squared his shoulders. He wasn’t about to let a former subordinate, no matter how tall he was, force him to cower under a glare. Those days were long behind him.

Or so he kept telling himself.

Roy remained where he was as Havoc marched over to him. His chin was angled up, a combination of defiance and to look the tall blonde squarely in the eye. Havoc sidled up next to Roy, slung an arm over his shoulder, and Roy stumbled to follow Havoc’s stride as he continued walking. They only walked a few steps before Havoc’s hand shifted from Roy’s shoulder to grip the area between Roy’s neck and shoulder. Very tightly. Roy tried to keep the pain from appearing on his face.

“Did I, or did I not tell you to get out of here?” Havoc’s grip was unrelenting.

“Someone needed to give those soldiers direction, since you ran into the that deathtrap after Hawkeye.” Roy turned his head to look at Havoc with his remaining eye. Havoc was standing on the side with the eyepatch.

“Drop that shit. You said it yourself, you’re only an enlisted man now. You have no place or right to be giving orders. In fact, you disobeyed _mine_.”

Roy wisely kept his mouth shut. It was true. Now that he was only an enlisted man, Havoc outranked him as a Second Lieutenant.

“And I want to make this perfectly clear.” Havoc dropped his hand from Roy’s person and spun around so he stood right in front of Roy. “I don’t want you to go near Hawkeye. Stay away from her.”

Roy wasn’t sure what came over him. Perhaps it was due to the surge of jealousy and anger that swelled up within him, or he was too tired to really police what his mouth said, but the words fell out of his mouth before he could stop them. They were biting and bitter, and not at all the truth, but there was something worthwhile about the shocked expression on Havoc’s face as he listened to the accusation.

At least it was until Havoc’s fist collided with his face and Roy landed on the ground.

Havoc stood over Roy for a few minutes breathing heavily, fist still clenched tightly at his side. Roy saw Havoc’s lips curl in a snarl in preparation to spit something back at his former superior before he decided against it and walked away.

Havoc didn’t even spare him a second glance.


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this is the point where I begin to pull characters from the manga/Brotherhood. And the chapters get longer.

“What the hell’d you do to get decked like that boss?” Breda asked before shoving the remainder of his hoagie into his mouth. “And by Havoc too?”

Roy accepted the towel filled with ice from Falman and glared at Breda across the cafeteria table. He didn’t blink as he pressed the chilled fabric to his swollen face. There would be a bruise for the next few days, but he could keep some of the swelling down. Hopefully.

He didn’t answer the question. Not that Breda noticed; he continued to talk.

“I can’t even recall the last time I saw Havoc mad, let alone furious enough to deck someone. You must’a done some something really shitty to piss him off like that.”

Roy’s teeth ground together at the back of his mouth. It was more painful that it would have been if half his face wasn’t bruised, but his mouth had already gotten himself in trouble today, and he wasn’t looking to dig himself another hole.

“The last time I saw Havoc mad was when the military council attempted to discharge H—” Falman began before Breda’s elbow swung and connected with his ribs, ending his sentence with a wheezing cough. The gray-haired man looked at Breda with a confused crease across his forehead before he understood. He didn’t pick up the sentence he left hanging.

Roy didn’t bother to ask for elaboration. He wasn’t even looking at them. His eyes were scanning the rest of the room and hadn’t noticed the breakoff in Falman’s speech.

The cafeteria was packed more than usual. Not only were there soldiers in there getting their well-deserved breaks from the cleanup and excavation happening all around Central, but also some of the wounded were being carried in and set on the tables and benches as the infirmary was filled past capacity with other soldiers and civilians needing medical attention. The combination of the smell of sterile medical supplies and revolting mystery meat being served from the kitchen almost triggered Roy’s gag reflex.

Roy had run into Breda and Falman by luck. He was making his way to the kitchen to raid the freezer for some ice when the two men dragged him down to sit by them.

They were looking well enough for a couple men having just been through one of the most intense conflicts in the past few years. Both were relatively clean of grime, although Breda had lost his military jacket somewhere. Roy thought he heard that Breda had given it up to a soldier that had been bleeding badly from a leg wound.

The three men fell into silence for a length of time, not really sure what they should be talking about. Roy didn’t bother to write much when he was stationed up north, and Breda had only visited the one time with Havoc. Falman and Fuery hadn’t made the trip up at all.

Breda seemed to lose interest in the remaining food on his plate as he simply pushed the mashed potatoes and peas in a spiral. Falman stared at the table.

In an effort to break the silence that was swelling, Roy attempted to bring the conversation back.

“How have you been since I’ve gone? A lot seems to have changed around here.” It was an understatement considering the mess outside, but they all knew he wasn’t talking about the battle.

Falman shrugged. “Nothing much.”

Breda snorted at his friend’s dismissal.

“Don’t let the old man fool you. He found a girlfriend and somehow convinced her to marry him. Can you believe that? And, that’s not even the best part, the best part is that she’s like twenty years younger than him.”

“She is not!” Falman protested rounding on his friend. “She is six years, seven months, and four days younger than me.”

Breda waved the correction aside.

“She looks twenty years younger than you in any case.”

The conversation from there devolved into a back and forth between Breda and Falman about how Falman only looked older because he had prematurely grayed in his late teens, and he how he wasn’t even that much older than the rest of the squad. Roy tuned them out quickly. His brain was occupied with other things. He just needed to keep them from noticing.

He was continually scanning the cafeteria for a specific tuft of hair. And Havoc. But he still hadn’t seen either of them.

Why was Havoc so determined to keep him from Hawkeye? And Fuery too, now that his words came back in mind. What secret were they hiding that was so damn important? They were fine with his presence around Hawkeye before he went up in the hot air balloon. Surely it couldn’t all be because he had left her on the ground where she would have been safer? Although he was sure Hawkeye never saw things that way. She belonged by his side and despite what he tried to smother inside, that’s where he knew she belonged as well.

So why was he here, moping, instead of being his own man and doing something about it?

“Ah, fuck it,” he muttered and stood from his seat. He was going to find Hawkeye, orders from Havoc or not, because if she had a beef with him, he needed to hear it directly from her mouth, not someone claiming to speak for her.

Roy spun around and immediately knocked someone off their feet.

“Sorry, I didn’t see you—” Roy began before noticing who it was he knocked down.

It was Fuery.

“Kain! Where’ve ya been? I haven’t seen you for hours,” Breda said finally noticing anything other than the petty argument he was having with Falman. “You look like hell man.”

It was the truth. Since Roy last saw Fuery, the young man had gained a fresh layer of debris on his person, he had lost the waist cape and jacket of his uniform, and his hands were bandaged tightly, but blood was already seeping through the white material. Fuery also seemed to cradle his right arm to his chest. His stare was halfway between the traumatized vacancy of the young soldiers around them and resigned tiredness of someone who had seen it all.

Fuery gave a one sided-shrug, and sat in the seat Roy vacated. He grunted as his rear connected with the hard wooden bench.

“How is the cleanup going out there Kain? Any word from the others?” Falman asked.

Fuery shifted uncomfortably in his seat and shot a glance back to Roy. Roy’s determined walk to find where Hawkeye halted and he turned partially to catch what Fuery was about to say. Fuery’s eyes connected with his for a second before something shifted in Fuery and he turned back to the other officers.

“Havoc ran into me while I was getting my hands bandaged.” Fuery lifted the hand he was holding to his chest slightly. Roy saw him wince before he returned it to where he had cradled it before. “He told me the water district is in complete ruins. There’s hardly a building that hasn’t had any sort of structural damage inflicted upon it. It’s going to take months, if not years for it to get back to what it was.”

Breda and Falman’s faces grew whiter the more Fuery talked. They knew something Roy didn’t, and Roy gathered if he stuck around to listen he would find out why everyone was acting so strangely. He didn’t care if he stood in anyone’s way. This was something he needed to find out.

“And?” Breda’s question hung in the air for the moment. Roy felt everyone’s eyes shift to him for a millisecond before they focused back on Fuery.

“Libbie’s alive.” Roy saw Breda and Falman release the tension Roy hadn’t even realized they were carrying. “She’s been injured, but Havoc couldn’t tell me how seriously before he had to run out again.”

The tension Falman and Breda had released return the moment the word injured came out of Fuery’s mouth.

“Libs is gonna be alright. Hawkeye will do everything she can to make sure that kid gets the best medical attention she can.” Breda’s words were spoken to help ease their minds. Roy could see that it did not work.

Roy turned around completely and leaned over Fuery. Fuery tilted away from Roy and stared up at the eyepatch that covered half his face. Roy levelled his gaze to the other two men on the other side of the table.

“Now, I’m going to ask once, and I know that no one wants to give me the answer, not with the way you’ve been running around me all day, but consider answering me for old times sake. What happened to Riza Hawkeye? And who is Libbie?”

In Roy’s head, he was halfway sure of the answer he was going to receive. He was a smart man, able to connect the dots. It didn’t take a genius to take everything he had seen that day fit the pieces of the puzzle together. Hell, even Fullmetal with his legendary oblivious tendencies in regards to people could have put together the signs.

His heart didn’t want to believe it.

Fuery, Falman, and Breda all exchanged a look with one another, deciding who would be the one to break the news to Roy. Fuery was the first to break away, staring down at his bandaged hands. Breda then turned to Falman. Falman sighed and looked Roy square in the face. His gray eyes were more tired than Roy had ever seen.

“The answer to your first question is the second, sir. Libbie is Hawkeye’s daughter.”

* * *

Riza couldn’t stop herself from pacing. Her normally steady hands were beginning to shake, and she clenched them and tucked them under her arms. With her hands restrained, her feet wearing a trench into the ground beneath her feet, and an expression that was as hard as when she was behind the scope, most of the nurses made very conscious efforts to avoid the blonde woman as they went about their duty. Riza didn’t care. Her daughter had been separated from her the moment she walked into Knox’s tent, and there was nowhere she wanted to be right then than at the side of her baby girl.

  
What was happening behind the dividing curtain? She couldn’t hear anything behind it, not even the small whimpers Libbie had been making since she regained consciousness after Riza pulled her from the rubble. Although with the commotion of the nurses behind her, Riza was sure that she wouldn’t hear the quiet sounds escaping her daughter’s mouth.

She’d always been a quiet one.

“Hawkeye?” Knox’s voice broke through her mental fog and she spun to face the graying man.

There was blood on his apron, and Riza’s first instinct was grip his collar and demand answers about the status of her daughter. She hadn’t been bleeding terribly when Libbie was passed from her arms to the older doctor. And the logical portion of her was fairly certain that the blood had already been on the apron before they even got there.

“How is she?” She attempted to keep her desperation out of her voice, but she feared she couldn’t maintain the composure she had been known for.

Knox looked over Riza’s shoulder to a few of the nurses moving about other patients and frowned before dropping a hand to her shoulder and steering her away from the other individuals in the tent. Together they walked through the partition Knox had come from. Riza’s eyes immediately were searching for Libbie.

She couldn’t find her.

“Hawkeye, I want you to know that you’re extremely lucky. Both of you. Had those teachers not had the insight to cluster those children underneath the more solid bits of furniture, we would be having funerals for everyone in that day care.”

Despite that attempt to spin things positively, Riza knew there was the exception coming. There was always an exception coming when they started out this way. It had when her father asked for her to protect his alchemical notes, when she was sent to be a sniper in the Ishval Civil War, when Roy left her when he went north.

“What happened Knox? Where’s Libbie?”

Knox held his hands up to attempt to placate he woman. With one, he gestured to a small cot Riza had not seen tucked behind a table filled with medical equipment. There she saw the feet of the flower onesie that she dressed her daughter in that morning. They were moving as Libbie squirmed on the cot.

Riza tore her eyes from her daughter to briefly look back at Knox before she rushed to gather Libbie back into her arms. Once she got there, she hovered over the cot, hands outreached, but didn’t lift her daughter from the soft surface.

Libbie was in process of shoving her fist in her mouth as she stared at some of Knox’s shinier equipment. Her other hand reached out for the silver scalpel far out of her range. A smile twitched at the corner of Riza’s mouth, and a relieved noise escaped from the back of her throat.  
Catching sight of her mother, Libbie turned her head and reached for Riza with both hands. She began to babble as her fists opened and closed, an indication she wanted Riza to pick her up. Riza laughed through the sudden tears and gently slid her hands under her daughter’s small body and lifted her from the cot. Libbie chortled in response.

Riza’s eyes quickly took in Libbie from toe to head. She was still dressed in the flowered onesie, although there were drying patches of blood across the cloth now. There was a little bit of dust and small flecks of debris clinging to her. And there on her daughter’s head was a large white bandage, wrapped around her entire head, leaving only her round face exposed.

“What happened?” Riza whispered to Knox, her eyes never leaving the bandage and who was wrapped inside it.

Knox sidled up beside Riza, something she felt more than saw.

“Libbie is extremely lucky. She had been hit by some debris in the head, and she should have been killed. She does have a concussion and you have to keep a close eye on her for the next few days to manage her symptoms. I suggest getting a friend to come and stay with the two of you; that way you can take alternating shifts. She may have difficulty maintaining balance and may be unfocused, but those are to be expected.”

Riza finally tore her eyes from the infant in her arms and looked at Knox. Her eyes narrowed.

“What is it? What aren’t you telling me?” Riza shifted her baby in her arms and held her closer to her heart.

Knox sighed. Riza noticed that his fist was clenched tightly.

“There appears to be a bit of damage to Libbie’s inner ears. I don’t know how deep the damage goes, or how long it may last, but your daughter does seem to be experiencing some hearing loss.”

“How do you know?” Riza looked down at the little girl in her hands, who was still babbling happily for being in her mother’s arms. She hadn’t seen anything to indicate that.

Knox winced a moment. One of his hands scratched at the back of his head a moment.

“I knocked over a tray of instruments. Libbie didn’t react to the sudden loud noise, except to follow my movements. I’m truly sorry, Hawkeye.”

Riza stood in silence for a few moments. How had she not heard Knox knock over a tray of medical instruments? For someone who has always been aware of the surroundings around her, to have missed something like that was extremely sloppy.

A voice in the back of her head told her she had been extremely distraught, and things had a tendency to slip by unnoticed when the brain was preoccupied.

“Listen, Riza, I have to go help the other patients now. But you know that I’m always there to help with anything you may need. Now more than ever.” Knox gave Riza a pat on the shoulder before he turned to leave through the partition. He lifted the sheet up before he stopped and turned back.

“I hear Roy’s back in town. Please be careful around him. You know what happened last time, and it’s not only yourself you need to worry about now.”

With a drop of the sheet, Dr. Knox was gone.

Riza stared at the blank sheet where he left for a moment before gazing at her baby girl. Libbie smiled, showing the newly acquired baby teeth they had spent many sleepless nights over. Riza returned the smile and pressed a kiss to Libbie’s forehead above the bandage.

She would worry about Roy later. Right now, this was enough.

* * *

 

Roy was fairly certain his heart stopped. He had known, he had seen the signs but didn’t want to put them together. But there it was, laid out for him in plain terms.

Riza Hawkeye had a daughter. She had been able to set aside everything that had been holding her back and moved on with her life. She had always been stronger than him. And this simply proved it.

His ass landed on the bench beside Fuery and he stared down at his hands. Suddenly, he found it was too hot in the cafeteria and it was difficult to breath with the lump in his throat. He clasped his hands tightly together.

“I’m sorry, sir.” Breda said finally, and Roy couldn’t think of why he would be apologizing.

Roy opened his mouth and only a strangled noise came out before he could clear his throat to get the actual words out.

“H-How?” He turned around to look the men in their faces.

“You very well know how,” Breda said.

Even through his shock, Roy managed to send the red-headed man a glare. Breda knew perfectly well that was not the answer the true question that he asked.

“Hawkeye has her own life to live. You made it very clear when you left her behind that she was on her own.”

Roy wanted to flinch. But they were right. He had made no attempts to contact them while he was away and only now just dropped back into their lives with no forewarning. It was understandable that they were hesitant to divulge information to him. Especially because it wasn’t about them to begin with.

“But who-?”

“Listen, sir,” Fuery interrupted. Fuery never interrupted. “This really isn’t our place to stay. If you want answers, you would have to get them from Hawkeye. She still has that apartment above the general store, if you wanted to talk with her. I only ask you give her a few days to get settled. It’s…it’s been a hard day for her.”

Roy stared at the youngest member of what had been his team for a little while. Gone were the days where he needed to walk the young man home because a ghost story frightened him. The man in front of him had seen tragedy’s fallout strike over and over again and was ready to deal with it.

Roy gripped Fuery’s shoulder lightly, as to not exacerbate whatever wound he had on that arm and thanked him. He stood and straightened his military jacket. He didn’t look down or back before he walked briskly out of the cafeteria and out into what had once been the common grounds of Central Headquarters. People were quick to jump out of his way as he passed by.

He didn’t know where he was going, but he wasn’t going to let anyone stop him.


End file.
